I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
