I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
