I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
