party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
