new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
