Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Someone signed my nipple.
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