sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
