im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
