everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
