the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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