Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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