There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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