we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
