haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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