hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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