just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
