He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
