I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
