He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
