Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
