But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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