so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
