I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
