Hey man sorry I got all grabby
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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