STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
