I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
