I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
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