I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
