He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
