eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So much Jack, so little girl.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
