I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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