Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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