He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
