there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
