as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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