dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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