It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
