He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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