You just made me feel so damn special
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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