That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
