I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
