apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
