the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
