Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Still dying that you shit outside
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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