real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
