I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I had to cum in my sink.
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