So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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