Jerry, you need to find god
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
