Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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