So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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