Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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