I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
