coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
